Superpowers—or even above average abilities—are not built into your DNA. You don’t see infrared or know the sound of sonar. You fall twenty feet onto pavement and every bone shatters. You can barely outrun an angry wasp. Spend five minutes underwater and you’re dead.

To assess the full extent of your inherent deficiencies, make a list of them. Start with your face. As a control panel, it’s an ultra low functioning model. Each of your sensory devices (nose, eyes, ears, tongue) could do for an immediate upgrade.

Now consider your organs. Presumably they reached peak performance years ago and are quickly decaying. They’ll need upgrades, too.

Finally think of your cells—those little biological units making you who you are—and below that, your DNA. Your cells are having issues all the time. And your DNA—I can assure you—is fundamentally fucked up on all kinds of levels. Plus, the telomeres in your chromosomes are decaying at a horrifying rate.

Once you’ve compiled your complete list of deficiencies, prioritize what you seek to upgrade and augment based upon mortal need. Keep in mind that your environment will play a role in determining which aspects of your body should be improved for survival. Considering all possible worlds with an AI in charge, you may, for example, need very badly to be able to see infrared. Alternatively, you may just need to be faster, stronger, and smarter to live another day.

After fully assessing your situation, see Appendix Section 5.2 for a complete list of currently feasible biohacks, mechanical augmentation techniques, etc.


Shit, there’s no Appendix Sec. 5.2. This so-called survival guide sucks. We’re screwed!

– Retired Academic Q.